The List

v.

1.   Music –NY is the TESTING ground for music. There’s a misconception that that’s where all the good music is. There’s TONS of crap. And while you’re looking for a gig to see on Friday night, there’s too much for the average person with a job to peruse through and decide on something good. And, there’s too many hipsters corrupting the mix. Just because a hipster says you gotta see X band, doesn’t mean objectively they’re good. It could likely mean the opposite-that they are so obscure, with one good riff, to make them hipster-worthy. Since coming here, I have discovered more good music than my two years in NY. What makes it out of NY is prescreened by normal, non-self obsessed members of society as decent tunes. Its also an amount significantly cut down to let working people get a handle on it. Think of music discovery as the converse of job apps in NYC –we need a filter. If it made it out of hipster-land, similar to if it says NYU or Columbia grad under Education, we can start to consider it.

2.   Smell –Here has smells. Actual good ones. Not ones that we have to convert to good based on inference-what they mean. Here smells like woodsmoke, like spices from chai tea, like pine, like unbelievable fresh air, so fresh its dense and heavy, like mountains, like crispness in the cold (not bitterness). That’s at least what I smelled tonight on my bike ride home (see below). I’m sure there’s more. I used to love the smells of NY. And I was nostalgic for them this weekend. But they really aren’t good smells. They’re people smells. Smells of cells, of bodily secretions, of dirt, but not good dirt, grimy dirt. People dirt, not nature dirt. And of course, LOTS and LOTS of smells of smoke. Car exhaust, bus fumes in your face in the bike lane, heavy, heavy, smog, cigarette smoke. Everyone’s smoking. Subway exhaust blowing up your nose from the grates even if your not walking on them but next to them. And industry smells. Metal, rust, sweat on metal, creaking, grinding, squeaking, welding smells, construction smells, road work smells. And trash. And subways. Which is all of the above, condensed, and not aired out for a hundred years. No, NY does not have good smells. They actually give me a headache, which I don’t notice as much because the stress of everyday life gives me more of a headache. I converted them, inferring from them a city alive with the best people on the planet. A city with layers of stories, people living on top of each other for hundreds of years. A city where some of the most significant history, some of the most poignant vignettes have occurred. All this is true. But the smells are not actually that good.

3.   Feel –In addition to smells, here has a tangible feel. Of course, so does NY. NY has

4.   Biking –People here like us bikers. We are the children of this city. They protect us, they usher us, they foster us and guide us in the right direction. They stop for us WHEN THEY DON”T HAVE TO. They are constantly aware, in the back of their mind, of our presence. They look for us before they move, they turn, they stop. We are part of their every consideration. Most importantly, they don’t want to kill us like the Hasidic Jews do. There’s no equivalent of the East Williamsburg death run in my daily ride home from work. In NY we are the enemy. We are the nuisance. We are the crazies. No one seems to remember that we are there –and they spew profanities at us at the mere suggestion that they should. Cabs use our lane as an extra one for their personal use. No one uses blinkers. Emergencies allow veering into our direct path as an option-as if knocking off a biker is a consequence not even worthy of registering for consideration.

5.   In shape people –People here are healthy. Healthy-looking. Tan –but not excessively so. Toasted by the sun. Muscles but not like the Situation. Muscles that show days outside –not at the gym. Those natural type muscles I honed my ability to love in Senegal. Even their hair, their skin, their smell, seems to give off the natural, not the chemical. Fuck those skinny ass white hipsters. Starving because their art doesn’t make enough to give them a decent meal. And because nature is not their drug.

6.   The mountains –Duh. Heaven on earth. Unbelievable moments of surreality that unwaveringly will give you an experience that will affirm anything positive and usurp anything negative. Depending on your natural bent, they will make you believe in God, save you from suicide, clear your brain of clutter, restore you after a bout of stress, detox your body, mind and soul, remind you that your life is insignificant and assure you that it is ok not to care, demonstrate the highest form of art, awe you to tears, humble you…I could go on, but I meant to write nothing here at all.

7.   Skiing, hiking, biking, sports, rafting, kyacking, climbing –Networking. Didn’t think that one was coming, did you? But this city offers incredible opportunities to network. People get bored talking about the same old shit. And they like skiing. Or if they don’t, they like some other idealistic outdoor sport. Or if they don’t, they harbor a respectable awe of those sports, or the people that do them. It’s a part of our culture, its part of being American, and perhaps more importantly, it is an important ID card for upper class, largely white society. CEOs go on ski trips to Stowe. So it’s a great way to strut your prowess, and to make people jealous that you have somehow found a way to work hard, but play just as hard and in a more authentic and awesome way than people who just party hard every weekend. Because we definitely party hard (arguably harder), but only after we’re done skiing.

8.   Art –Just to let you know, there is a legitimate art scene here.

9.   S* –While I was studying for the LSATs in NY, my brain almost bled from frustration of not being able to find a good coffee shop to study at. Really. My motto is that you can find absolutely anything your mind can contrive in NY. Minus the above mentioned. I biked to literally every viable candidate sans Inwood. NY is just too crowded. And its coffee shops are trying to be too hip –offering music, bars, and other crazy noise-inducing activities that, although awesome (I hailed the advent of being able to drink wine at a coffee shop while doing my hw), do not allow for good studying. Small places where the door opening in winter causes shivering convulsions. Heat turned off in hipster Williamsburg. Coffeehouse turned into bar past 11. Closing early because they don’t make enough money in the late nights. Too many schools and libraries to study at that don’t offer access to non-students. NY apartments are just too small, and people to poor, to be able to have adequate study space in their personal living space. Coffee shops for non-students who need to study are essential. But lacking. S* is my sanctuary.

10.        Human rights –NY does not have too much for human rights anyway. Would have to go to DC for that.

11.        Money –Rent is cheap! You can pay for yourself (Jameson!) and your friends, and still have your bill be under $25 on a Friday night! No cabs! (Or, less cabs.) Less temptation to eat out or eat snacks at atleast 5 stops during your walk from point A to point B. (My ATM statement confirms this…just as many charges in a weekend as in a couple of weeks in this city.) NY made me depressed, stressed, and have a headache trying to survive financially. Sometimes, I didn’t eat. For weeks and months I ate only pasta, ramen, and rice and onion sauce. Ask my room mates. I constantly felt pulled in too many directions and unable to fulfill my obligations in any one of them. I also always felt bad about my reliance on others. I felt it this weekend. I should have stayed in a hotel. I wanted to pay for our whole dinner as Annemarie did. How many times could I afford to pay for cab rides if we took on to each place we went? In sum, I think NY is only a place for me mid-career. I don’t want to start my career there. I don’t want to ever be that poor again. Its not health for me or my relationships.

12.        Time spent at first few jobs –Not to mention, the time expected in your first few jobs. I would be the equivalent of “yenoo”-ing in NY for my first few jobs. Though I don’t doubt that I will work ridiculous hours anywhere else, I think it will be significantly more tolerable than NY. I would almost not survive. And I’m too old for that.

13.        Too much to do –I would have been so torn in school. I would always have the feeling of not giving enough to school and not giving enough to my social life. Here, life comes in a much more swallowable dosage. It’s a good retreat for school.

14.        The International School

15.        More my style of dress

16.        More my style of people

17.        Guys, not metrosexuals.